Where Art Thou Temperance?
RENEWAL AND EVENTUAL EXALTATION
Q:Where Art Thou Temperance?
A: When you are walking through Hell…keep going! Why does this thought make me laugh so hard? Because it is so obvious? Or maybe because when you know the temperature of the inner hell realms so intimately that just thinking of them sears your flesh, the only options are to laugh or cry. I don’t know but maybe there is something about the dichotomy of opposing forces that does bring us to the middle path. Pain and suffering on one end versus joy and laughter on the other. Perhaps somewhere in between is where the homeostasis of being resides, and from there, it is only human to taste the flavors of said emotional spectrum.
I’ve been observing myself as I heal from an intense crisis of sorts at a snail's pace. I am truly having to both, be patient, and persevere one day at a time. Though they can reflect a similar sentiment, patience for me feels like more of a surrender (of my impatience) while perseverance brings forth my rigor to advance with tenacity. While contemplating my state of being, I was immediately drawn to the 14th card of the Major Arcana of the Tarot, Temperance. I love these words quoted from Angeles Arrien “Synergy is the union of two or more principles which combined, can create a greater whole. Art/Temperance is the integration of opposition as a way to become even more of who we are.”
I also love how Aleister Crowley chose “Art” to describe the 14th Tarot, traditionally known as temperance. Art is one of my favorite expressions of virtue and is the product of a certain type of alchemy. The imagery of the Thoth tarot depicts two sides of one being pouring water and fire into a cauldron to create steam crowned by the latin word “rectificando”. This is the essence of magic, this is the beginning of creation itself. Alchemy is a process of the transmutation of the old which goes through a purification process (death) in order to resurrect anew (birth). And the doorway is through rectification, to make amends, revise our actions…to course correct. This can be psychological, sexual, physical, mental, creative, spiritual, etc. and is successful in accordance with the higher laws of Thy will, that which is bigger than ourselves alone.
A WALK THROUGH THE UNCONSCIOUS
In my recent process, I’ve been wading through putrefaction. Kind of like having to walk through the sewage of the unconscious without much reprieve. It hasn’t been fun, at all, even though I love inner work, this chapter has been gruesome and full of terror. It is radical to me how the various processes of mind encapsulate the different characteristics of the egos I am working on as well as the consequences of those egos in real-time. It is often for me that I do not recognize the severity of the impact until I am in a deep internal retrospective state where I am forced to see what I have not wanted to see. And it is there I begin to navigate from the stench of putrefaction through the flames of purification into a renewal of birth and eventual exaltation.
Temperance is within me and I am having to find it, just like Goldilocks but with less grace at times. Too much here, not enough there, as I ease myself toward “just right” one tedious swivel past the pendulum of balance to another more tedious swivel. Sometimes I feel as if I am a newborn, others a toddler on this journey…and at my worst, a teen in angst. Traveling through the immature stages of reformation has been rewarding and entertaining as well. I’ve been in awe of the actual reliving of forgotten days of development as I come through this process of psychological rebirth. As humans, we have such a depth of capacity that many will never know in this lifetime. All of this knowledge is here, right now inside us, better than AI on demand. I am learning to focus my attention differently and in doing so can experience new ways of being, immediately. It feels like checking a book out of the library of my mind and learning something new without going anywhere or doing anything except paying attention.
In a world that is constantly vying for our attention, I now understand why we have to pay for it. Too much of my attention is given away freely to those that don’t deserve it. Distractions of every imaginable beast…social media, news, negativity, fears, doubts, falsehoods, drama, traumas, etc. As I work to get my life in order (a very Saturn/Natal Saturn opposition transit thing to say…but true) I’m committing to paying my dues. And dues are showing up to be paid. Karmic, financial, relational, and even the attention deficit we just addressed.
What I love about paying karma is that there is a sweet satisfaction of not having to do that again! As long as I take the lessons to heart that is. True torture is reliving the same mistakes over and over because it is more familiar, comfortable, and available than committing to the inner work to adjust and pull yourself from the self-dug trenches of mechanical being. And though walking through the putrid layers of self can be unpleasant, self-knowledge in itself is the gift that keeps on giving. I cannot only know the gems of my heart if I avoid the mud of my mind that keeps them from glistening exuberantly in the sunlight of life.
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We cannot change the world until we accept we are the world. This is the new conversation.