Ready to Go In?

INNER WORKING TOWARDS THE TRUTH

Q: Ready to go in?

A: (Raises hand up in the air.) I wonder how many of you out there feel the same way? While this time of year is traditionally so festive and an extrovert's dream, I often find myself pulled into a deep state of inner process. A journey that calls me inward as if following the whisper of the Solstice lullaby bringing me home to myself. 

Whether leading up to, on Solstice, during Christmas, between Christmas and the New Year, or nearing my Solar Return on January 17th, you can count on me bowing out to bow in. It is winter after all, a call of acceptance around letting go of what I’ve been working so hard to release. The invitation to embody death is here and then…I find myself resisting and trying to wriggle out of it as if taking the last gasp of what has been.

TRANSITIONS FROM WITHIN

I recently went into 10 days of Vipassana meditation. Typically I come out the other side feeling lighter and brighter after the catharsis of what comes up and out. This year is very different and perhaps because of the weight of the transition I am working with. Instead of feeling the lightness of being, I am being drawn deeper still. Gravity is pulling me down into new depths of awareness inside and it is heavy, dense, and real(ly necessary to experience).

Maybe I am writing this week as some kind of farewell. A goodbye to the parts of me that I simply can’t take forward. The residue of thematic explorations in the realm of relationship to father, the masculine, authority, power, sexuality, betrayal, and more. 

NEW MOON IN SAGITTARIUS

And there is a new moon in Sagittarius. I love this new moon, it is the beginning of the end so to speak. The last new moon of the year and with it an energy of fresh new beginnings already sparkling up from within you. A pattern of clearing and of initiating new cycles overlapping the completion of the old has been pervasive from the ripples of the last eclipse season still working on us over time. This moon is aspected by Uranus in an inspiring and provocative way urging to breakthrough dualistic thinking and rise to a new occasion. The ground is fertile for wrapping up this year and for inner work if you so choose.

When the future self beckons you to walk toward the unknown with bold and determined faith, you know that you are on the right track. It is when the same song is on repeat that one should consider if there is an unopened or discarded invitation left ignored. Sometimes avoiding and attempting to cover up the feelings of anxiety or fear is because the truth that glistens on the other side of it is so majestically bright. 

I’ve been present to layers of anxiety that live in my subconscious and am staying as curious as I can as to why they are there and what I am hiding from within myself. Anxiety in itself is volatile, unsteady, and cannot sustain life, rather it begins to erode the resting point of homeostasis. As I venture in and toward the instability, I gather my breath and my courage as companions to witness what I may find.

MERCURY IN RETROGRADE

Mercury goes retrograde early in the morning on the 13th. Another cosmic indication that it is time to go in. I love these times of the year when reflection and contemplation are the order of the day. By going in, you can utilize a retrograde transit in the way they are meant to be received, as gifts. Flowing into a reset through retrospection, reassessment, reevaluation, reconsideration, relaxation…etc.

As the autumnal season comes to a close this month, the body, mind, and awareness can sense that winter is coming. I am choosing to embrace the essence of what this means for me on physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual levels. While the calendars are filling up and consumerism is at an all-time high, my answer is yes. I am ready to go in. Are you?

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We cannot change the world until we accept we are the world. This is the new conversation.